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The Budapest Smile Club

by Santa Mira

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1.
Huitzilin 02:28
Hopelessness starts it chic in your late 20s, What you thought was cool is all relative-ly gone, Spinning out into a retaining wall, The only escape is a certain fall, Arms outstretched from the bottom up And there's no one at the top, top, top, top. So what's the word hummingbird? Everything I used to know doesn't make any sense. And I've been gone too long and I can't understand, living in the present tense. Prop your skull up against untamed fists, You didn't realize how deep scars could exist, Falling down into a well of despair, Its easy to drink when you don't care, Clock arms choke the life out of you When you can't see them turn, turn, turn, turn.
2.
Open wounds and a salt rub, So bland, every nerve is numb, Is this the taste of success? Or is this failure? Burned away your taste buds, Burned away all your senses, Chasing after some dream, Or running away from everything. Everything. Recovered for the fourth time, Will you ever really be fine With moderation? Or is this tidepool, Reflecting through a spyglass, Reflections always backwards, Perception is coherent, When you can see the worst in the best The worst in the best.
3.
You've got a lot to learn Fresh open perpetually wild, Brush the hair from your eyes, Clothes are strewn along floor, Space is the final frontier Sleeping off the last few years, Promises given on the fly, Mistakes are discovery, Watery frames in your rearview mirror.
4.
Owl Song 02:28
Scratch the surface of a half-embedded, Armory plated in steel, Vacuous and empty, Though the surface appears so real, Lay cups hands into the ground, Shovel until your fingers break, Its a madman's sport to dig, And expect the outcome won't be the same. Be the same You have to pull and grind because, You've got it programmed in your head, Nothing worth having was, Ever gained easily. Ever gained easily The splinter lives with comfort, Between the nail and the skin, You can't pull it out without gushing, But it'll atrophy if it stays in. It'll atrophy if it stays in.
5.
The neon lights penetrate the night, The bass is so damn loud, I can't hear my own thoughts, The pacing mouths full of empty sounds, I'm surrounded in a cloud Of deafening silence. Silence. I took some hits and I feel like shit, And I just want to go to sleep, Sweet sleep. The conversation no sensation, A ladder leading no where, And nobody really cares, I am a bookend, And the worst part is, I've been looking forward to this, All fucking week. Staring at the floor, As if it will move, Slide apart and eat me whole, I either say too much or not enough, I say, Too much or not enough.
6.
What Is, Was 02:58
Measure once and always cut twice, Those paper hands are easily sliced, Nails dig deep into fragile palms, Those fronds keep rustling and blowing away. And I couldn't hold on Darling there's a crick in your throat, The raspy edge that roughly cuts silence, Waiting to hear that you've grown sick, Of all this time spent in-between. And that you're through with me. Held a candle for what doesn't seem, Like how long its really been, Wax-coated hands that break apart, As they start to bend. To bend.
7.
I'm a skeleton with skin stretched over it, And I'm over it, So fucking over it. A marionette of jangling bones, No strings attached? Don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh.
8.
Heavy-handed sentimentalism, Stream of light that travels through a prism, Bedroom walls awash with color, When you look back everything is clearer, Reliance on your sure footing, Had got you places that you didn't plan on going, Today is brimming with self-reproach, It's overflowing and I'm scarring my throat. I am scared of losing everything I had. Introverted and taciturn, I don't remember how I got this way, Sewed lips with a string of failures, I'm losing consciousness from the pain, Its the only way I sleep at night, Internal fight or flight, And I don't have the strength to lift a hand, After shedding every ounce of my skin. Of my skin.
9.
I tell myself the things, I know probably aren't true, But they make me feel better. I will live to be over 100 years old, Everyone will remember me, And every story that I've told, I am important, My existence is meaningful, You all will miss me, When I'm gone. I have never hurt, Someone other than myself, With selfishness, Or an inability to communicate, I have never been, Useless when needed, Every single failure, They weren't my fault.
10.
Who knows if I would have, Ever really followed through, On all those last ditch efforts, That I put in front of you, Standing up with a golden spine, My will is malleable, A silver tongue for second place, And a slurred parable, And this skin is barely wearable. We perfected the art of making each other hurt, We protected our hearts because there is nothing worse, Than being in love alone. A Casa-supernova, The image of a failing light, absorbed all around, And cleansed by the night, I took a red-hot brand, To your lips, I swear it didn't hurt, As bad as this.
11.
I've heard the smell of burning flesh, Never leaves your lungs, Words unspoken, That can never leave their tongues, Born in blood and death in blood, Todos los hijos, Vivan en el rio de sangre. La palome de Culiacan, No puede respirar, And her wings were clipped At such a young age, You only know what you feel, What you can see, What you believe, The holy trinity of killing sensitivity. The drums in my head sound like gunshots, The drums in my head sound like screeching tires, The drums in my head keep pounding, pounding, pounding, No tengo una pausa De la bateria.
12.
Samsonite 04:27
I've got deep roots in potted plants, I used to wake up to sounds of traffic, Now I hear the air split in two, With planes breaking through other planes. In myself there is an open door, The entrance is an exit. This cardboard box luggage has kept me scrambling, The windows open And the breeze can kiss my skin, But the wind can't conceal All of my blaring mistakes, The blurring that occurs As the water beads down your face.

credits

released February 16, 2017

Michael Flores (Vocals/Guitar) Ronnie Taylor (Drums) Kevin Kiyomoto (Bass). Backing Vocals on tracks: 1, 6, and 7 by John Haley.

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Santa Mira Fresno, California

DIY band established 2012

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